How to Deal With Internet Trolls

Ah the Internet troll. If you've written a hub, posted on a forum, published a video or run a blog, you know they're out there. Trolls make many of us rage, so what can we do about them? Sadly, technology is yet to reach the point where we can punch them in the face through their screen. So what is a troll and what can we do to protect ourselves from their incessant stupidity? This quick troll self-defense guide will teach you how.

A common mistake we all make is using the word "troll" much too loosely. Trolls tend to post angry, ignorant or downright ludicrous comments, but that doesn't mean that these same things are all created by trolls. Confused? U mad? Let's take a look.

Trolls don't post or make videos for any reason other than to elicit a strong emotional reaction, ultimately hoping to start World War III in a forum or other public medium. They may seem to want to make a point, but in reality, they don't care or mean what they say. The more rage they cause, the happier they are. Comments can be benign or downright hurtful, even illegal if threats are involved.

While many confuse trolls with haters -- or lump them into the same category -- there is a fundamental difference. Haters, unlike trolls, genuinely believe in what they're saying, even if it's wrong. They'll try to insult you, usually resorting to profanity and ad hominem attacks, like "you suck", "you're stupid", "you're ugly" and "go kill yourself" (much like some trolls). If you want to see haters in action, check out Rebecca Black's Friday song on YouTube. Sadly, these individuals are fueled with rage and rarely have a decent thing to contribute, even if they know some solid arguments. Unlike trolls, who want to mess with you, haters truly want to make you feel like dirt. In short, their motivations are genuine.

So let's say you're a sucker for punishment and decide to check out a forum on politics, religion, video games, movies, TV shows, whatever floats your boat. You walk in hoping for an interesting discussion, but instead find yourself in the midst of a flame war. How do you know if you're dealing with a troll? Here are some criteria.

First, a troll will make a completely incorrect assertion that everyone knows is false. The troll will then stand his/her ground, despite repeated arguments -- and even proof -- to the contrary.

Second, a troll will often intentionally misspell basic words to add that little extra frustration to any grammar buffs who take the bait. Either that, or the troll is simply too "stoopid" to know how to spell "stupid" correctly.

Third, the troll will never stop. Haters will usually give up under intense enough fire, but trolls thrive on it. The more hate they receive, the more it encourages them. This behavior is what gave rise to the golden rule of "never feed a troll".

Last but not least, trolls will often use the classic "u mad?" once the hate reaches the desired level, although this isn't always the case.

The question is, how do you fight back? You can't prove a troll wrong if they know they're wrong. You can't silence someone with hate if it's what they're seeking. The only way to truly fight a troll is to turn the tables with these proven techniques (and by "proven", I mean I've gotten lots of lulz from doing this).

First, inform them that you know they're trolling and laugh along with them. Trolls will ignore it at first, or simply try harder to insult you. Pay no heed, just keep laughing along. If you want to turn up the heat, criticize their trolling, pointing out how a "good troll" would do this or that. Chances are, you'll get another angry response. This is when you flip the argument belly up by writing "lol! u mad bro?" Keep writing that same phrase for every post they make.

Another, faster way is to reply to every post with "I don't believe in trolls". That's it. Just do that over and over again. Eventually, they'll give up. If you REALLY want to get under their skin, follow them around to other threads and keep fighting.

Finally, educate. Look for other posters who are raging, and inform them that the person is just a troll. Encourage them to emulate your responses and soon the troll will be helpless. There's power in numbers people. Use it.

Regardless of what method you choose (or if you decide to invent your own), the basic premise is simple: troll the troll.

There are times when trolls cross the line. They may send you personal messages or replies threatening bodily harm. Their insults may become so severe that they're no longer funny. In this case, the right thing to do is to report them to the forum's administration. If they send you a personal message or e-mail stating their intent to harm you, keep the messages and call the police if you see fit.

Congratulations! You are now equipped to enter the wild, lawless expanse of cyberspace. Happy anti-trolling! And to any would-be trolls who don't appreciate this article, well, u mad, bro?